mating dance

Like so many other animals, humans spend an inordinate amount of time and resources in mating displays. We may shake our heads at peacocks and wonder why a bird would jeopardize its survival by growing an unwieldy tail just to impress its mate, but we should take a look in the proverbial mirror.

Any teenager will tell you that there is nothing better than a set of wheels to impress the opposite sex. Preferably a very unwieldy but shiny and aggressive-looking set of wheels. And like a peacock's tail, the more inept the better. Because the handicap is an essential part of the attraction, think high heels and walking.

The mating dance car is a mockery of the real thing. A racing car that is no good to race, an off-road vehicle that can't go off-road. A truck that can barely haul more than a passenger car. And all of it loaded with unnecessary bulk and trim.

Unfortunately, this tendency to acquire impractical but somehow impressive pieces of moving metal is not limited to teens alone. Middle aged males especially suffer from a great need to participate in this quest. And lest the members of the opposite sex start shaking their heads at such infantile behavior, they should realize that they play a very important role in it. They make it work.

The whole debate about fuel efficiency is here in a nutshell. And everyone knows it, although few will say it out loud. We can build fuel efficient and practical cars. We don't even have to build them, they are out there. But who would want them? And I am not talking about high tech hybrids, which are really just a way to make efficiency palatable to the mating dance. I am talking about small cars, with practical designs, that are easy to drive, easy to park, and easy to use. But easy is the problem here. Easy is not sexy. Despite the high mileage.

You can already hear the rationale and justifications mounting. But what about safety you say? Aren't bigger cars safer? Well, there is little doubt that if you drove an Abrams battle tank around, few could cause you any harm. But that is missing the point. Because soon enough all your neighbors would have their tank too. Escalation is a poor way to solve problems. But it is quite popular nonetheless.

The roads would be safer if vehicles were smaller and lighter. If everyone rode a bicycle, few would die in crashes. Especially teens. Because teens are really into the mating dance, which by the way also includes reckless behavior and excess consumption. We are no different from other animals here. The mating dance is inherently a dangerous game. Call it selection.

And because we are no different, we too face the threat of extinction.