optimization

There is little doubt that todays suburbs are an environmental disaster. Just about everything is wrong with suburbs, and the main culprit is size. Suburbia is oversized. And that includes not just the houses, the lawns, and the cars, but increasingly also the humans living there. People living in suburbia are much more likely to be overweight than city dwellers. They spend more time in sitting in traffic, cause more air pollution, and are less likely to hang out with others.

To work out they drive to the gym. To listen to music they need a car stereo. To find one another they need a cell phone. And to have a friend they need therapy or a coach. According to a recent Wall Street Journal article, more and more people need a family coach to help them deal with their everyday life. And to find stuff in their big house no doubt.

But where did all this go so wrong when those same humans arrived in suburbia with the best of intentions? And by making nothing but the right decisions? Unfortunately, as any mathematician can tell you, making locally optimal decisions does not guarantee a globally optimal path.

Why did houses get so big, and lawns so vast? That too is the result of people making the right decisions. Builders need to build and as land gets scarce they have to move out and away from the city. That means more driving and more time spent in traffic. To make things attractive they build bigger houses. Bigger houses have more immediate appeal. Human adults remain very childlike in their fascination with size. Witness all the junk email you get.

Another factor has to do with rising land prices. When prices go up, one is forced to build bigger dwellings to break even. That is why on each subsequent round of building, the houses get bigger. They get so big they take up more and more of the lot.

But bigger houses mean more raw materials and more stuff to fill them up. As you probably know, no matter how big or small your house is, you will fill it to capacity. If you move from an apartment to a house, at first the house may appear enormous but pretty soon you will have trouble finding an empty spot to put your new toys. And with every subsequent "upgrade" the process will start anew. Most of the stuff you don't need and in any case you never use it. One can only sit in one chair at a time. But it is comforting to have a full space.

Bigger houses also need more heating, more cooling, more electricity, and more water. And to keep property values steady, inhabitants will often form a home owners association. And the home owners association will make the right decisions too. And these decisions will mean more lawns, more water, and more energy use. They want you to keep a lawn so you get one. After all green is attractive, even in the desert.

You need to keep your grass green so you water. You need to keep it trimmed so you mow it. In fall you need to remove the leaves and so you get a blower. You can't hang your laundry so you get a dryer. You can't walk anywhere so everyone needs a car. You can't park in the street so you need a three car garage. The list goes on and each and every item causes you to use more resources and more energy. Not that you want to really, but what can you do?

Each and every decision on that list is "sensible." All aim to maintain the status and high property values that were created by the large houses that were needed by the builder to stay in business. And now you are stuck with a big house that is too far away from anywhere so you can't walk. The house is so big so you can't find your family. You need to install an intercom system. Maybe you need an elevator to get around?

Nobody ever needs to interact anymore. Everyone has their own iPod, their own TV, their own bathroom, and their own fridge. There is nothing to do, nobody to talk to -as they are all on the phone or at the very least listening to their iPod. If you need to talk, call your therapist. You can't walk because there is no place to walk to, and you hate to drive more since you are already spending half of your life in the car as is. The lawn is all taken care of using immigrant labor -you would not want to do without a gardener right? 

You can drive your kids around to their many activities. Remember when children just used to roam the neighborhood? But that is no longer acceptable. And dangerous too? So you drive. After all this you have made it to taxi driver. And just so nobody confuses you with a mere driver, you need a big car. A car that means business. A car that is romantic and reminds you of all the things you wanted. An off-road vehicle.

And why do you get a big car? Because car builders need to build bigger cars. They can no longer compete with the Japanese in the sedan class. They can make more money stuffing leather in a truck and sell it as an SUV. A perfectly sensible decision really. And those little itty bitty cars are hard to get into now that you supersized yourself. Oh but to have a big car with a mean looking grille !