paying for friendship

One side-effect of our oversized-everything life-style is that people are more isolated than ever. A great many live far away from their families, and some would argue that is a good thing. It certainly keeps arguments to a minimum, but it also deprives people of a bond they sorely need. Witness the urge many have to travel home during holiday season. Or the tendency of rich parents to shower their kids with goods. Solace for the guilt feelings no doubt.

Not everyone does well being away from family and childhood friends. And it isn't just the sprawl that breaks up relationships, although sprawl is a major contributor. The high-valued "mobility" is also to blame. The constant moving about destroys friendships and prevents the formation of deeper bonds. Unlike the nomads who travel with their immediate kin, modern nomads travel all alone. And they keep busy to fill the void.

While it is understandable that one may want to leave the family home to improve one's standard of living, such movement makes less sense in America, where living conditions are good to begin with. And that is where we get a little help from our friends in the media and the advertising industry. Luring us away with visions of paradise. El dorado.

There is no doubt that some people are forced to move. Big corporations constantly intrude on people's lives, and protections for the individual are few and far between. That in spite of America's worship of the individual. Corporations close down factories and uproot towns to save a few dollars here and there. Eminent domain can be used to oust entire communities. Farmers are driven from their land by debt and unscrupulous land sharks. But not all people move because they have to.

Many move because they want to live the American dream. The utopia of living in a large house with a big lawn in a gated community. A house that is so big you need an intercom to find people. And even if you do find them, chances are they are watching their own TV or they are on their own phone talking to some other lonely dreamers.

In the dream house everyone has their own playroom, bathroom, and in some cases their own bedroom. A his and hers. And while this too may reduce arguments, it is definitely not a healthy sign. But it is good for the economy. And it is our patriotic duty to consume. Lest the terrorists get the upper hand. The terrorists who are out to destroy our life-style. You heard it from our very own president.

The more you isolate people, the more items they need. If everyone huddles in a small house, they are not consuming to their full potential. The more space the individual has the more space they have to fill up. A five bedroom house requires five sets of furniture. And five bathrooms. And five TV sets with DVR. And five stereos. And iPods and cell phones for everyone.

It is not surprising that these lonely people need help. They need a coach or a trainer or a therapist or all of the above. Because what they need most of all is human contact. Human contact that is so sorely missing in their huge mansions far away from everyone and everything. Americans use more personal help than any other people on the planet. Some see this as a sign of progress, a sign of achievement. And one thing about paid friends is for sure: they are always nice to you.

Like your unnaturally green lawn in the desert, your manicured but empty suburban streets, your spotless museum quality living room, paid friends are nice to you. They always smile. They never use foul language and they always do what you want them to do. They are in one word as perfect as all the other perfect things you own.

And some can even prescribe you chemicals to cope with the hardships of your everyday life. And that too is good for the economy. Some would even say it is healthy. They do call it mental health, don't they?